What makes sex stop in a relationship?

[Rach]

Another thread is going off on this tangent, so why not make a thread for it.

Quite a few people lately have expressed to me their frustrations with their relationships halting on the sex. One girl I know has been married 2 years and she expressed that 3 times a month is a lot. Another was only with her bf for 2 months and he wouldn't sex her at all. This doesn't make sense to me so those of you who are the people not having the sex please explain the reasons for it. I can't imagine any amount of stress that would make me not want to do it.

[RichWarChild]

Did the girls get fat?

[Keith]

chick got fat or he is cheating on her...

[Rach]

Neither of them "got fat". How do you get fat in 2 months? :lol:

[DD.]

Anythings possible.

[Keith]

Neither of them "got fat". How do you get fat in 2 months? :lol:

well if she is NOT fat and hot then send her over here and i will take care of what her man cant... :lol:

[:jen:]

maybe they're having relationship problems?

Like Jimmy said in the other thread... if they're not happy or wanting to be with one another, they may not want to be intimate.

[TNathe]

Another thread is going off on this tangent, so why not make a thread for it.

Quite a few people lately have expressed to me their frustrations with their relationships halting on the sex. One girl I know has been married 2 years and she expressed that 3 times a month is a lot. Another was only with her bf for 2 months and he wouldn't sex her at all. This doesn't make sense to me so those of you who are the people not having the sex please explain the reasons for it. I can't imagine any amount of stress that would make me not want to do it.

people get tired of the same 'ol??? i dunno, sometimes your partner doesnt keep the 'fire' going, ive been with girls where after 6 months of being together 4 times a month WAS a lot, others the same amount of time and 4 times a week WASNT ENOUGH...i guess its just how the two people feel about each other???

As for the 2 month thing, it may be HIS personal preference not to lay a girl for a couple months, ya ya ya call it ghey or whatev, but it SHOWS the two that sex ISNT why they are together :)

[moldyhands]

some girls aren't about sex. i call them "LESBIANS". four times a month would not work for me.

[NeENeRs]

a lot of things can attribute to it.

stress at work. money problems. constant arguing in the relationship. or maybe they're not right for each other and they're both just bored. :dunno:

[Treysdad]

Like Jimmy said in the other thread... if they're not happy or wanting to be with one another, they may not want to be intimate.


:)

[Krystle Burger]

Lack of "flame"...like the physical attraction is gone. Not many people want to have sex with someone they are not attracted to. However, I'm sure there are tons of reasons.

[l2edneck]

My last relationship fell apart because i simply lost interest.Still great as friends just the attraction changed.Was a multitude of things i think.I tried to explore till i wore my brain to a nub.Never came up with an explanation.It just faded away over time.

But i'd still be willing to try another experiment with a new someone....:naughty:

[Strangeholliday]

Are they on any medications? sometimes Depressants can really shut down a man or woman's sex drive

[VenoMiss]

I think maybe when a couple stops being mindful of eachother and start feeling like the grass is greener kinda thing. Lack of spontanuity...sex can feel like a routine and leaves little to look fwd to. Most couples I think get in this mindset after being together for a while. A relationship takes work. But once the sex starts taking a downhill plummet, then there's a disconnect between the two people. IMHO, Communication and reciprocation is important in having a good sex life and appreciating one another.

[PPGMD]

Marriage, followed closely by kids.

[Rach]

...Communication and reciprocation is important in having a good sex life.

That is extremely true. I put a lot on the physical side of a relationship. If things aren't meshing physically (which is the funnest part of it), then something needs to be worked out mentally between the two. Even counseling if it means that much to them. If the sex life doesn't improve after efforts to correct it, to me there's only one solution, to break up. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone where the sex life was practically non-existent and was not improving. Everyone has their choices, I just don't get how people choose to accept not having sex from their partner. If you're not being satisfied on every level like you deserve, what's the point in continuing it?

[nikki.]

That is extremely true. I put a lot on the physical side of a relationship. If things aren't meshing physically (which is the funnest part of it), then something needs to be worked out mentally between the two. Even counseling if it means that much to them. If the sex life doesn't improve after efforts to correct it, to me there's only one solution, to break up. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone where the sex life was practically non-existent and was not improving. Everyone has their choices, I just don't get how people choose to accept not having sex from their partner. If you're not being satisfied on every level like you deserve, what's the point in continuing it?

I love you. Will you be my boyfriend? :love:

[Rach]

I love you. Will you be my boyfriend? :love:

Will my 15 inch strap on satisfy as a replacement penis? I already have the tongue skills. ;)

[nikki.]

Will my 15 inch strap on satisfy as a replacement penis? I already have the tongue skills. ;)

15 inches? :-o Keep that shit FAR away from my vag.

[J-Dizzle]

15 inches? :-o Keep that shit FAR away from my vag.

that is by far one of the funniest things i have heard today:lmao: :lmao:

[Goop]

I know one of my friends has a relationship like this. His girlfriend doesn't particularly like sex and they just had their one year anniversary. He must not ever get laid, but yet he somehow sticks around. You can be a man, stand up for what you think you need in a relationship and just say peace out to the woman if she wont do it......but will you?


I would, fuck that! Its not a relationship if all you ever do is frustrate yourself with such a simple thing that can only make two people feel great.

[TrackStar]

You can’t sit idle in a relationship and expect the SPICE to always be there. You have to maintain yourself and your sex drive and expect the same from your SO. There are MANY reasons to lose your sex drive and MANY ways to keep it up...

Can lose sex drive because:
depression
stress
health
physical attraction
lack of sleep
time
self conscious
cheating

Ways to fix these:
depression - If you are depressed, you have a responsibility to your SO to work on this and communicate your depression to your SO and to find ways to get out of your slump. You should expect your SO to help you out of it as well.

stress - Work and/or family and friends getting to you? Bills stacking up? Sucks, but this is a lot like depression and making the effort to have sex with your SO can really help relieve the stress. Having sex will help make you less stressed which will in turn help you with an increased sex drive. You sometimes have to basically open the door back up to a sex life and your body will follow with a new sexual drive due to increased hormone levels.

health - sex drive a lot of times is directly linked to you and your SO's physical health in a lot of different ways. Working out and eating right makes you happy and relieves depression and stress. When your happy, you are more pleasant to be around as well as more likely to want to have sex and have people want to have sex with you. You also feel better about yourself in general and have will have a healthy appearance that will attract others too you as opposed to looking like a fat/malnourished greasy zombie.

physical attraction - most everyone likes someone who takes care of themselves. From the way you dress, to brushing your teeth. It’s the little things that matter. Does your vagina smell like death? Do your nuts look like a hedgehog? Can you use the grease on your face to make french fries? Can people figure out which part of you is fat rolls and which part of you is your vagina? Do you offer your man anal sex and he says 'hell no'? Take care of yourself. Dress nice, take showers, brush your teeth, trim your pubes, wear cologne/perfume, wash your hair with nice smelling shampoo, pluck that uni-brow, quit picking your nose... believe it or not, I bet shit like this is the #1 reason a lot of people don’t get laid.

lack of sleep - this ones hard to deal with but learning the art of the quickie can do wonders for your sex drive and the amount of energy you have in a day. Also, ALOT of people find sex to be a great precursor to a great nights rest!

time - once again... learn the art of the quickie!

self conscious - is there a reason your self conscious? Get over it. If your SO is coming to you for sex, then they like what your doing. If they aren’t coming to you for sex, then you have a reason to be self conscious. See the above steps to take care of this and get over yourself.

cheating - don't cheat. fix the relationship you are in. if you don’t think it can be fixed, end it. Don’t hurt someone else because you’re a POS individual and can't maintain a relationship with someone without hurting them.

[:jen:]

^ well said.

[norachelhere]

^^ well put
the down side to all of that is if all the sex you have is quickies. Don't get me wrong, a good morning quickie is great, but if thats all you're having then there is an issue. A quckie is great as a hold you over, but when it becomes the main attraction, there is an issue that needs to be resolved. I know in my relationship, its gotten to the point that neither one of us really look forward to sex. I think it is a combination of lots of things. On her side I think it is mainly stress. She stresses about everything. Money especially. I've been working on getting my business going, which due to shitty freinds, has failed. So my income has been little to non. (i'm working on getting a job now) so that has put alot of burden on her. It isn't as bad as she makes it seem, but she still stresses about it a lot. She has also gained weight. And stresses about that, which in turn makes it worse. So at the end of the day, she's not feeling very sexy. On my side, I'm frustrated with above said piece of shit friends. and not having the money to do what needs done. (again, i'm working on that) I went through a pretty good run with depression, for over a year. I won't say its gone, but i've figured out how have more good days. During that time, i got the "why bother working out" syndrome. and I fell apart. I'm by no means fat, but my favorite pair of jeans fit more like cowboy pants than the loose and baggy jeans they used to be. I don't know that my physical condition bothers me bad enough to interfere with sex, but I have no doubt it isn't something she looks forward to.
Thats all the rather easily fixed issues.
We've been together for coming up on three years. We've lived together for over 2 of those years. She's actually the first and only girl I've been with. So that makes it that much harder. I'm hoping that it goes away once the money issue gets fixed and we start going to the gym again, but I don't know that I want to be in a relationship. I know if you asked me a few years ago, i would have said "me in a serious relationship? yeah, right..." I think that has been a major issue for a while. I would also be willing to bet that it is an issue for a lot of guys. maybe not so much women. At a certain point, most women want to settle down and have a family and all that stuff. But guys, I don't think most of us want that. I think most of us want to be able to go and do and screw and whatever. I think thats why most guys have to fight the urge to cheat, where as most women just don't have the desire period. And I know from experience, when you are fighting that urge, you don't want what you've got cuz in your head, you've found that greener grass and you really want to roll around in it. In my personal case, I love my girlfriend to death. I just don't know if I'm "in love" with her enough to stay with her. I'm hoping that fixing some of the more easy issues will make the sex more fun, like it was for the first year we were together. and that will in turn fix this more major issue

i think that all made sense...
sorry for rambling on like that....

[vdubber403]

she may be bad at sex.bad sex is o.k. for a one night stand but you cant do it for a long period of time.me and my wife have been together for 8years and the sex keeps getting better.

[Krystle Burger]

dude, stop bumping all the old threads in S&R

[vdubber403]

sorry.there are only a few to go through and this is my first time on tf.ill be more aware of the dates on the threads just for you.:) (not being a smartass.just playin)

[TrackStar]

don't do anything just for her. she will use and abuse you and turn you into one of her followers.

lol

<3 krystle

[Krystle Burger]

don't do anything just for her. she will use and abuse you and turn you into one of her followers.

lol

<3 krystle

I have followers?!
:dbird:

haha, this is a different kind of forum Nick.

[TrackStar]

mmmhhhmmmmm :D