Living together before marriage...

**Krystle Burger** · 09-05-2007, 06:55 PM

Seems like the smartest route to go, in my opinion. I would think that you tend to learn a LOT more about your significant other while living with them. you figure out what you can handle, what you can't, and also how to deal with finances together, and I'm sure a billion other things (don't know since I've never lived with a boyfriend)...all prior to making that huge commitment. Because marriage is such a huge thing to me, I don't intend on getting married to someone prior to living with them.

I bring this up because: The other day I was talking to a guy who says that he always pictured himself getting married and then him and his wife go to their new "home" together (for their first time). I told him that the old-fashioned way sounded ideal, cute, and all that - but I just think that would be a pretty risky move...considering the divorce rate in this country.

Opinions, thoughts?

**moldyhands** · 09-05-2007, 07:03 PM

i think you should not live together while married. this would undoubtedly cut down on the divorce rate. however, the woman should come over to the man's place every night and cook him dinner and bang him before leaving to spend the night in her shack in the back yard.

Chuck 98 RT/10 · 09-05-2007, 07:03 PM

I used to think not living together would be the one last bastion of virginity two people could share with each other. Unfortunately I was the only one on the planet that thought that and now I don't even advocate marriage.

My how we change as we age. For better or worse.

BlackWind · 09-05-2007, 07:09 PM

i think its a good idea, and i also think people give up on relationships in america WAY too easy...marriage included...

**Krystle Burger** · 09-05-2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modman

i also think people give up on relationships in america WAY too easy...marriage included...

I'm with you there.

BlackWind · 09-05-2007, 07:17 PM

its way too true. People dont communicate enough, and it kills relationships...they dont care enough either. People should try harder than they do to make things work, cause when they do, its like gold...

atreyu06 · 09-05-2007, 08:03 PM

I'm with you on communication the whole way, well that and i think people take the theres alot of other fish in the sea way too literal... "this isn't the way i imagined it and im not gonna say anything but oh well theres other fish in the sea." = bullshit and lazy

**juke** · 09-05-2007, 08:10 PM

Personally, I think it is a good idea. I have some friends who got married without living with each other and things are working out well for them, but if they do have problems, it isn't going to be because of that.

**Mars_302** · 09-05-2007, 08:17 PM

I at least need to know your sleeping habits

J-Dizzle · 09-05-2007, 08:20 PM

if u cant deal with your problems in a mear boyfriend girlfriend relationship i dont see how you could do it married. i for one would rather live together for a while and make sure its right for me and that shes the one.

Bite_Size · 09-05-2007, 08:32 PM

i'm currently in that position and my advice is to go for it! we live in a new age and spending the rest of ur life with some1 now-a-days is so important because of whats mentioned before divorce rates. now its not always easy but its well worth ur time and effort to spend a few years living with the one in ur life than to be hasty and move in together possibly have (a) child(ren) and then spend a hefty amount of money and time where on the other hand ake that commitment after u have already been thru the thick and thin times and have experience dealing with it.not to mention if u already have a child with this person or have future plans on having one save alot of drama and heart-ache on ur child(ren).
IMO

R6Mitsu · 09-05-2007, 09:25 PM

Living together prior to marraige is almost a must. You dont buy a car without test driving it first right? But the ideal situation is the two in the relationship having their own places but both being together at either place without actually living together. That way you can know each others habits, routines without actually sharing the residence. Another good point to this set up is the fact that if she cant keep her legs shut with other guys, then there is nothing lost. You still have your place and she still has hers. The stuff inside the house may be a little torched, but it's still hers. And the guy still has a fridge full of beer.

BlackWind · 09-05-2007, 10:25 PM

^no wonder you have such negative rep, youre an idiot...

**MianoSM** · 09-05-2007, 11:02 PM

I'm not a big advocate for marriage in the first place, however, if I were to get married I would think a shared accommodation for at least some duration of time should happen.

I just couldn't let myself marry a girl without living with her. Too much of a jump - graduation is there for a reason....

**adrian_302** · 09-05-2007, 11:14 PM

krystle you can always come live with me if you wanna find out

Brandon. · 09-05-2007, 11:36 PM

I am staying with my girl alot right now. Partly because we want too, partly because its closer to work, and partly because shes starting to get really sick. I love living with her and would love to call this my home. I've learned alot about her by staying her so much, things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Unlike most couples, we've adapted and compromised so far.

I think thats a big problem in marriages that end in divorce. They don't learn to adapt. People change as they grow older, the other person needs to love (and sometimes learn to love what they've become, instead of what they were)... unless of course they've become a crackhead, thats a little hard to over come.

RoseyPosey · 09-05-2007, 11:41 PM

im sort of on the fence with this in my opinion although my actions differ.

I AM moving in with my SO, next month. on one hand, it is definitely a good idea. How do you know if you will just HATE the way they brush their teeth, or how the put the shampoo on one end the shower and soap on the other. honestly, to me, its the little things like that that matter.

On the otherrrr hand, i think it kind of gives away the excitement of getting married and moving into your first place together.

I like to think i will still learn a million little things about sean when we get married that i never knew prior, but i wont because we already lived together like a married couple, so i think SOME of the excitement wont be there as a newlywed.

Not sure if im wording that all correctly, but i gave it my best shot.

Brandon. · 09-05-2007, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseyPosey

im sort of on the fence with this in my opinion although my actions differ.

I AM moving in with my SO, next month. on one hand, it is definitely a good idea. How do you know if you will just HATE the way they brush their teeth, or how the put the shampoo on one end the shower and soap on the other. honestly, to me, its the little things like that that matter.

On the otherrrr hand, i think it kind of gives away the excitement of getting married and moving into your first place together.

I like to think i will still learn a million little things about sean when we get married that i never knew prior, but i wont because we already lived together like a married couple, so i think SOME of the excitement wont be there as a newlywed.

Not sure if im wording that all correctly, but i gave it my best shot.

You make a valid point, but wouldn't you rather find out he does something weird before you get married and are past the point of no return. Or would you want to become another statistic

TNathe · 09-05-2007, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modman

^no wonder you have such negative rep, youre an idiot...

how do you figure guy? He hit the nail on the head IMO. Being able to have each others own places ALSO PROVES the ability for one to sustain themselves, BEFORE engaging in a marriage. Too many women get married for one reason, SECURITY, they NEED someone to take care of them. If a girl im dating can NOT support herself then Im not taking the relationship further until I see this exhibited. Living in ONE house before getting married doesnt appeal to me as much as being able to visit her place and vice versa. You learn EVERYTHING about that person necessary to succeed in a life-time relationship without the hang-ups that come with living under ONE roof and a break-up occure.

RoseyPosey · 09-05-2007, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandonloserkid

You make a valid point, but wouldn't you rather find out he does something weird before you get married and are past the point of no return. Or would you want to become another statistic

honestly, i dont believe in divorce. at all. 2 people in my entire family have ever gotten a divorce. if i got a divorced i would be so ashamed in myself.

i really feel that relationships are based on compromise. if i learn something new that maybe erks me the wrong way, i would hope we could just make an agreement to work it out. big or small issue.

And to add, i think so many people move in with their SO's because "it will be so fun/great/whatever" and dont think of things they will have to work through/give up as well.

I think if you move in with someone, it should only be someone you TRULY love who you are willing to work through the little (or big) problems with because its worth it to be with them in the end.

09-05-2007, 06:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
Krystle Burger Just telling it how it is Location: New Tampa	Living together before marriage... Seems like the smartest route to go, in my opinion. I would think that you tend to learn a LOT more about your significant other while living with them. you figure out what you can handle, what you can't, and also how to deal with finances together, and I'm sure a billion other things (don't know since I've never lived with a boyfriend)...all prior to making that huge commitment. Because marriage is such a huge thing to me, I don't intend on getting married to someone prior to living with them. I bring this up because: The other day I was talking to a guy who says that he always pictured himself getting married and then him and his wife go to their new "home" together (for their first time). I told him that the old-fashioned way sounded ideal, cute, and all that - but I just think that would be a pretty risky move...considering the divorce rate in this country. Opinions, thoughts?

09-05-2007, 07:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
moldyhands Porno Music Producer Location: Bogota, Colombia	i think you should not live together while married. this would undoubtedly cut down on the divorce rate. however, the woman should come over to the man's place every night and cook him dinner and bang him before leaving to spend the night in her shack in the back yard.

09-05-2007, 07:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
Chuck 98 RT/10 Sexist Location: Tampa	I used to think not living together would be the one last bastion of virginity two people could share with each other. Unfortunately I was the only one on the planet that thought that and now I don't even advocate marriage. My how we change as we age. For better or worse.

09-05-2007, 07:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
BlackWind U.S. Army	i think its a good idea, and i also think people give up on relationships in america WAY too easy...marriage included...

09-05-2007, 07:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
BlackWind U.S. Army	its way too true. People dont communicate enough, and it kills relationships...they dont care enough either. People should try harder than they do to make things work, cause when they do, its like gold...

09-05-2007, 08:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
atreyu06 ^is rocking the SOHC^ Location: St. Petersburg, FL	I'm with you on communication the whole way, well that and i think people take the theres alot of other fish in the sea way too literal... "this isn't the way i imagined it and im not gonna say anything but oh well theres other fish in the sea." = bullshit and lazy

09-05-2007, 08:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
juke Ghetto, Like Josh Stevens Location: Tampa, FL	Personally, I think it is a good idea. I have some friends who got married without living with each other and things are working out well for them, but if they do have problems, it isn't going to be because of that.

09-05-2007, 08:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mars_302 Race Photographer	I at least need to know your sleeping habits

09-05-2007, 08:20 PM	#10 (permalink)
J-Dizzle Still Addicted to Boost Location: Land O' Lakes	if u cant deal with your problems in a mear boyfriend girlfriend relationship i dont see how you could do it married. i for one would rather live together for a while and make sure its right for me and that shes the one.

09-05-2007, 08:32 PM	#11 (permalink)
Bite_Size עִמָּנוּ אֵל Location: Brandon	i'm currently in that position and my advice is to go for it! we live in a new age and spending the rest of ur life with some1 now-a-days is so important because of whats mentioned before divorce rates. now its not always easy but its well worth ur time and effort to spend a few years living with the one in ur life than to be hasty and move in together possibly have (a) child(ren) and then spend a hefty amount of money and time where on the other hand ake that commitment after u have already been thru the thick and thin times and have experience dealing with it.not to mention if u already have a child with this person or have future plans on having one save alot of drama and heart-ache on ur child(ren). IMO

09-05-2007, 09:25 PM	#12 (permalink)
R6Mitsu RAYS < OBAMA Location: Port Richey	Living together prior to marraige is almost a must. You dont buy a car without test driving it first right? But the ideal situation is the two in the relationship having their own places but both being together at either place without actually living together. That way you can know each others habits, routines without actually sharing the residence. Another good point to this set up is the fact that if she cant keep her legs shut with other guys, then there is nothing lost. You still have your place and she still has hers. The stuff inside the house may be a little torched, but it's still hers. And the guy still has a fridge full of beer.

09-05-2007, 10:25 PM	#13 (permalink)
BlackWind U.S. Army	^no wonder you have such negative rep, youre an idiot...

09-05-2007, 11:02 PM	#14 (permalink)
MianoSM Custom User Title Location: 127.0.0.1	I'm not a big advocate for marriage in the first place, however, if I were to get married I would think a shared accommodation for at least some duration of time should happen. I just couldn't let myself marry a girl without living with her. Too much of a jump - graduation is there for a reason....

09-05-2007, 11:14 PM	#15 (permalink)
adrian_302 Caribbean Queen Location: Tampa	krystle you can always come live with me if you wanna find out

09-05-2007, 11:36 PM	#16 (permalink)
Brandon. Your iron willed fuck up. Location: Spring Hill	I am staying with my girl alot right now. Partly because we want too, partly because its closer to work, and partly because shes starting to get really sick. I love living with her and would love to call this my home. I've learned alot about her by staying her so much, things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Unlike most couples, we've adapted and compromised so far. I think thats a big problem in marriages that end in divorce. They don't learn to adapt. People change as they grow older, the other person needs to love (and sometimes learn to love what they've become, instead of what they were)... unless of course they've become a crackhead, thats a little hard to over come.

09-05-2007, 11:41 PM	#17 (permalink)
RoseyPosey says it how it is. Location: Spring Hill	im sort of on the fence with this in my opinion although my actions differ. I AM moving in with my SO, next month. on one hand, it is definitely a good idea. How do you know if you will just HATE the way they brush their teeth, or how the put the shampoo on one end the shower and soap on the other. honestly, to me, its the little things like that that matter. On the otherrrr hand, i think it kind of gives away the excitement of getting married and moving into your first place together. I like to think i will still learn a million little things about sean when we get married that i never knew prior, but i wont because we already lived together like a married couple, so i think SOME of the excitement wont be there as a newlywed. Not sure if im wording that all correctly, but i gave it my best shot.