Living together before marriage... - Page 2

Brandon. · 09-06-2007, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseyPosey

honestly, i dont believe in divorce. at all. 2 people in my entire family have ever gotten a divorce. if i got a divorced i would be so ashamed in myself.

i really feel that relationships are based on compromise. if i learn something new that maybe erks me the wrong way, i would hope we could just make an agreement to work it out. big or small issue.

And to add, i think so many people move in with their SO's because "it will be so fun/great/whatever" and dont think of things they will have to work through/give up as well.

I think if you move in with someone, it should only be someone you TRULY love who you are willing to work through the little (or big) problems with because its worth it to be with them in the end.

I feel the same way about divorce. Me and my significant other have already been through some lil tiff's here and there but at the end of the night, we both apologize and fall asleep together. We are working through a big thing right now (not a problem just a set back, shes really sick, and I don't mean flu sick. I don't care to get into it too much on this forum) So I am here to help out as much as possible and to compromise (missing some work to be there for her) and try and make her life a little easier.

BnWmitsub!tch · 09-06-2007, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modman

its way too true. People dont communicate enough, and it kills relationships...they dont care enough either. People should try harder than they do to make things work, cause when they do, its like gold...

plus fucking one!!!!!

not bitter.... lol

**Rach** · 09-06-2007, 09:12 AM

My bf and I don't believe in marriage (it is the leading cause of divorce) but we do like each other enough to be able to put up with each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (minus work). We know each other so well now and it makes the relationship so much better, in my opinion. Not that this is a good way to look at it, but it does force you to communicate and work things out with each other. But I wouldn't have moved in with him if we thought that was going to be a problem in the first place.

To each their own. My parents don't disapprove so that's all that really matters to me.

SSpiro · 09-06-2007, 09:43 AM

I think everyone should have to live together before getting married. Get to know the person more intimately in their comfort zone. See what their mannerisms are, habits, etc. You end up growing together in many ways (communication, intimacy, friendship), etc.

I think it's extremely important. The old fashioned way is dated. Won't work anymore.

Capital G · 09-06-2007, 11:38 AM

i agree w. chrisssssstle 100%. although im not sure if im the person any one should take marriage advice from.

Skam9685 · 09-06-2007, 12:26 PM

Privacy is too much of an issue in IMHO. I don't think I could move in with someone and lose all that freedom and privacy.

**WTFchuck** · 09-06-2007, 04:38 PM

i think you should live together before marriage... gets you to know certain sides of a person a little better

**NeENeRs** · 09-06-2007, 07:20 PM

wait, people still get married?
shit's crazy.

**JamesH** · 09-06-2007, 07:51 PM

i deleted all the nonsense, carry on.

Birdy · 09-06-2007, 08:22 PM

My ex-girlfriend I had been dating for about 14 months when we moved in together. It was great at first, haha. Always around eachother, happy to see the other home, cuddled, lots of sex, etc...

After about 4 months of living there we kinda grew apart because we found out more about eachother that we didn't like. This is of course with some past drama but regardless, it was a bad move. She hounded me if I was late from work like a Mother would and wouldn't sleep unless I was home. Same here. If she wasn't home and I didn't know where she was at I would get pretty upset. I didn't like the feeling. We lived together for a total of about 8 months. We've been broken up for almost 3 now and I haven't spoken to here since.

I think it's a bad move unless you know you're going to be with that person for the rest of your life. You better completely trust the person as well.

Brandon. · 09-06-2007, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Birdy

I think it's a bad move unless you know you're going to be with that person for the rest of your life. You better completely trust the person as well.

Moving in together would help you decide if you want to live with this person for the rest of your life. It's not like you have to have joint bank accounts when you are just living together. And you don't really both need to be on the lease (that would cause trouble if you break up). If you didn't move in with her before you married her, you probably wouldn't have known things would be this way, and if it held its course like it did in your case then it would put strain on your MARRIAGE.

**MicheleR** · 09-06-2007, 08:27 PM

Me and Cisco lived together for a little over 6 years and then got married. we didnt need anymore time to know we were sure. and it gave us enought time to go over the little annoying things which we both had...

Ilearned to ignore them. I Love him too much to to let him go over the little things.

Birdy · 09-06-2007, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandonloserkid

Moving in together would help you decide if you want to live with this person for the rest of your life. It's not like you have to have joint bank accounts when you are just living together. And you don't really both need to be on the lease (that would cause trouble if you break up). If you didn't move in with her before you married her, you probably wouldn't have known things would be this way, and if it held its course like it did in your case then it would put strain on your MARRIAGE.

There's always two sides to a story

But yeah, my girlfriend and I were on the lease. We paid half on evvveeerrrything. I guess the first break up was a sign, eh, haha. It can be a deciding factor as to if you want to be with the person but living with someone is still somewhat of a commitment. I guess I was just trying to say "make sure you're ready."

Panzerbane · 09-07-2007, 03:10 AM

The timeline of Panzerbane and Sopranna

Week 1: L-word
Week 2: Moved in together
6 Month: Jewelry
9 Month/Christmas: Diamond Bracelet
12 Month: Engagement Ring

Been engaged over a year and a half, still living together, havent killed eachother yet, and I think she no longer has any sense of smell because my ass gas no longer horrifies and repulses her in the comedic way I have come to cherish.

le sigh

Brandon. · 09-07-2007, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Panzerbane

The timeline of Panzerbane and Sopranna

Week 1: L-word
Week 2: Moved in together
6 Month: Jewelry
9 Month/Christmas: Diamond Bracelet
12 Month: Engagement Ring

Been engaged over a year and a half, still living together, havent killed eachother yet, and I think she no longer has any sense of smell because my ass gas no longer horrifies and repulses her in the comedic way I have come to cherish.

le sigh

DAMN! Thats quick. If it's working though, its definitely not a bad thing. Congrats.

Serbonze · 09-07-2007, 01:19 PM

Absolutely. It should be a prerequisite to getting married. My wife and I lived together for two years prior to getting married. During that time we were able to work out compromises on our “at home” life. We comment quite often how difficult it would be to move in together and try to work together as a married couple for the first time, while trying to learn each others idiosyncrasies.

Compromise in the living situation is the key to a great marriage and healthy relationship. Just a small example; I always put my dirty silverware together in groups into the dishwasher (knives together, spoons together, forks, etc). This makes is much easier when emptying the dishwasher to put everything away. My wife didn’t do that. It drove me nuts. We talked about it, and it turns out that when I replaced the toilet paper, I was putting it in wrong. Huh? What? How is there a “right” way to put toilet paper onto the holder? Well apparently the roll should be placed so that the paper falls over the top. So we made a compromise. I put the toilet paper on “correctly” and she puts the silverware in the dishwasher “correctly”.

This sounds like a small issue, but imagine if there are 15 of these small issues that you ONLY find out about after you are married and moving in together for the first time.

I can't even imagine it.

**I'm Phucked** · 09-07-2007, 01:29 PM

been living with the so for 3yrs strong, relationship is on 4th year. Marrige is a business agreement as it can only help and destroy you financially so we may never marry; however, a lifetime relationship would be nice.

Boston · 09-07-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serbonze

Absolutely. It should be a prerequisite to getting married. My wife and I lived together for two years prior to getting married. During that time we were able to work out compromises on our “at home” life. We comment quite often how difficult it would be to move in together and try to work together as a married couple for the first time, while trying to learn each others idiosyncrasies.

Compromise in the living situation is the key to a great marriage and healthy relationship. Just a small example; I always put my dirty silverware together in groups into the dishwasher (knives together, spoons together, forks, etc). This makes is much easier when emptying the dishwasher to put everything away. My wife didn’t do that. It drove me nuts. We talked about it, and it turns out that when I replaced the toilet paper, I was putting it in wrong. Huh? What? How is there a “right” way to put toilet paper onto the holder? Well apparently the roll should be placed so that the paper falls over the top. So we made a compromise. I put the toilet paper on “correctly” and she puts the silverware in the dishwasher “correctly”.

This sounds like a small issue, but imagine if there are 15 of these small issues that you ONLY find out about after you are married and moving in together for the first time.

I can't even imagine it.

Whirlpool has said that mixing up the silverware is actually better and cleans the silverware more thoroughly because there is more movement with the silverware. Don't ask how I know that, I just know. And the toilet paper thing. I do the same thing. It has to be the right way and I don't know why. Lol.

**Rach** · 09-07-2007, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'm Phucked

...Marrige is a business agreement as it can only help and destroy you financially so we may never marry; however, a lifetime relationship would be nice.

My thoughts exactly!

rebels · 09-07-2007, 02:02 PM

In my opinion, you have to live with the person for a certain amount of time before even considering marriage just to see how they are and if you can actually make it work. It's a completely different story when you are not living with someone and then you are.

I know I will live with my girlfriend for at least two years before I even think about getting married. If it doesn't work with that, then she isn't the one in my eyes.

09-06-2007, 09:12 AM	#23 (permalink)
Rach Acta, non verba Location: Riverview	My bf and I don't believe in marriage (it is the leading cause of divorce) but we do like each other enough to be able to put up with each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (minus work). We know each other so well now and it makes the relationship so much better, in my opinion. Not that this is a good way to look at it, but it does force you to communicate and work things out with each other. But I wouldn't have moved in with him if we thought that was going to be a problem in the first place. To each their own. My parents don't disapprove so that's all that really matters to me.

09-06-2007, 09:43 AM	#24 (permalink)
SSpiro Errare Humanum Est Location: Tampa, FL	I think everyone should have to live together before getting married. Get to know the person more intimately in their comfort zone. See what their mannerisms are, habits, etc. You end up growing together in many ways (communication, intimacy, friendship), etc. I think it's extremely important. The old fashioned way is dated. Won't work anymore.

09-06-2007, 11:38 AM	#25 (permalink)
Capital G Get in my mouf! Location: Trampa	i agree w. chrisssssstle 100%. although im not sure if im the person any one should take marriage advice from.

09-06-2007, 12:26 PM	#26 (permalink)
Skam9685 Suprasexual!!!! Location: Tampa, Florida	Privacy is too much of an issue in IMHO. I don't think I could move in with someone and lose all that freedom and privacy.

09-06-2007, 04:38 PM	#27 (permalink)
WTFchuck oh WTF Location: macdill	i think you should live together before marriage... gets you to know certain sides of a person a little better

09-06-2007, 07:20 PM	#28 (permalink)
NeENeRs fuckin catalina winemixer Location: St Pete	wait, people still get married? shit's crazy.

09-06-2007, 07:51 PM	#29 (permalink)
JamesH I'm just her baby daddy Location: The Burg	i deleted all the nonsense, carry on.

09-06-2007, 08:22 PM	#30 (permalink)
Birdy Smartass Location: Pensacola, FL	My ex-girlfriend I had been dating for about 14 months when we moved in together. It was great at first, haha. Always around eachother, happy to see the other home, cuddled, lots of sex, etc... After about 4 months of living there we kinda grew apart because we found out more about eachother that we didn't like. This is of course with some past drama but regardless, it was a bad move. She hounded me if I was late from work like a Mother would and wouldn't sleep unless I was home. Same here. If she wasn't home and I didn't know where she was at I would get pretty upset. I didn't like the feeling. We lived together for a total of about 8 months. We've been broken up for almost 3 now and I haven't spoken to here since. I think it's a bad move unless you know you're going to be with that person for the rest of your life. You better completely trust the person as well.

09-06-2007, 08:27 PM	#32 (permalink)
MicheleR Hotter than ur girlfriend Location: underneath the hood...duh	Me and Cisco lived together for a little over 6 years and then got married. we didnt need anymore time to know we were sure. and it gave us enought time to go over the little annoying things which we both had... Ilearned to ignore them. I Love him too much to to let him go over the little things.

09-07-2007, 03:10 AM	#34 (permalink)
Panzerbane Registered User	The timeline of Panzerbane and Sopranna Week 1: L-word Week 2: Moved in together 6 Month: Jewelry 9 Month/Christmas: Diamond Bracelet 12 Month: Engagement Ring Been engaged over a year and a half, still living together, havent killed eachother yet, and I think she no longer has any sense of smell because my ass gas no longer horrifies and repulses her in the comedic way I have come to cherish. le sigh

09-07-2007, 01:19 PM	#36 (permalink)
Serbonze Master of his domain. Location: Tampa	Absolutely. It should be a prerequisite to getting married. My wife and I lived together for two years prior to getting married. During that time we were able to work out compromises on our “at home” life. We comment quite often how difficult it would be to move in together and try to work together as a married couple for the first time, while trying to learn each others idiosyncrasies. Compromise in the living situation is the key to a great marriage and healthy relationship. Just a small example; I always put my dirty silverware together in groups into the dishwasher (knives together, spoons together, forks, etc). This makes is much easier when emptying the dishwasher to put everything away. My wife didn’t do that. It drove me nuts. We talked about it, and it turns out that when I replaced the toilet paper, I was putting it in wrong. Huh? What? How is there a “right” way to put toilet paper onto the holder? Well apparently the roll should be placed so that the paper falls over the top. So we made a compromise. I put the toilet paper on “correctly” and she puts the silverware in the dishwasher “correctly”. This sounds like a small issue, but imagine if there are 15 of these small issues that you ONLY find out about after you are married and moving in together for the first time. I can't even imagine it.

09-07-2007, 01:29 PM	#37 (permalink)
I'm Phucked army pilot Location: FT. Rucker, AL	been living with the so for 3yrs strong, relationship is on 4th year. Marrige is a business agreement as it can only help and destroy you financially so we may never marry; however, a lifetime relationship would be nice.

09-07-2007, 02:02 PM	#40 (permalink)
rebels Shaved Accord Location: St. Petersburg, FL	In my opinion, you have to live with the person for a certain amount of time before even considering marriage just to see how they are and if you can actually make it work. It's a completely different story when you are not living with someone and then you are. I know I will live with my girlfriend for at least two years before I even think about getting married. If it doesn't work with that, then she isn't the one in my eyes.