Is it ever okay? It's not okay to write about it. It's not okay to think about it. It's just not life. Life is a big set up. A big rat race. We're just one big fucking ant farm. How do you keep someone close and not hurt them? How do you keep someone close and expect them to do the same? It's always one or the other. It's going to be hurt or be hurt. I dont ever want to have the upper hand again. I dont want to be the reason someone wants to die. I dont want to be the reason you cry yourself to sleep. I dont want to hate myself over what I've done. But I dont want to hate someone else for what they will do to me. Love is such a fucking lie. It's not real. It's a chemical imbalance. It's an attatchment. It's getting used to something. Like how I have gotten used to drinking water instead of coke. I'm over coke. I'm over you. I have a new drink. I crushed you. I crushed me. I'll be crushed. it never fucking ends.

I know no one on this site will have any idea what the fuck I am talking about but I figured I have blogs to write in and if you dont want to read it then dont. and if you understand it then great. because I dont. and if you think i'm crazy then awesome. because. so do i.